notanothermonday's Xanga

church signs

Sun, 23 Jul 2006 22:54:41 GMT

"he who angers you controls you"

thus read one of the many church signs i drive by all the time...i cant escape church signs...they are a distict part of southern "bible belt" culture and im sure a cultural element for much of the states...

anyways...along the lines of church signs there are ones that make me smile, laugh, think, and then those that anger and frustrate...most of the time however i misread them and think them rediculous...o the joys of being dyslexic...then however there are those that make me squurm (yes, i like the second u...and i couldnt help but spelling it like that)...you know the ones that you just have to say, "hmm...is that right?"...and then you laugh, knowing its just another church sign...

"he who angers you controls you"
--hmmm...is that right?-- i had such a problem with this one as i read it coming home from work about a week ago...i couldnt get around the underlying message in this...the way i read it, is that something that controls you is apparently evil, or if not that, then you are sinning to be controlled by it...
i was really unhappy with this message because i dont believe that being angry is a sin...and thus if someone angers me...heck, he's not making me sin...and heck no, he's not controlling me...

lately ive been debating in my head what is the reality of emotion and connectedness...and what effects us and touches us and changes us...
"as humans...what do we let interact with us intimately?"
this has been the posing question forming over and over and why in the world do we allow such things...are they good for us? to feel certain ways...to be dissapointed...to be sad...to be angry...to absolutely feel lost...to not know for certain what is going on...or what should for that matter...
"feelings...as feelings...emotion...is that sin?"
so as these debates have filled my head...ive really been painfully experiencing emotion lately...and my actions havent always been that great...returning challenges with hurtful retorts...tearing those around me down...keeping them distant...pushing myself from feeling...

"why?"
i feel myself wondering this alot...i fear being known...and knowing for that matter...but here lately, ive felt...and thats been good (more like great)...but my reaction to emotion has not been that of acceptance and endurrance...ive on the other hand rebelled and ran from feeling...i hide from emotion the moment i interract with it...and in those connections of feeling which have been everywhere for me lately...i find myself angry...

"angry or controlled?"

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Thu, 15 Jun 2006 15:35:40 GMT

ok...so im watching the world cup...
enjoying some iTunes...
and all of a sudden...
RICK JAMES starts up...

i love life

humming birds

Mon, 29 May 2006 01:50:31 GMT

well...while i was out of the country...Georgia decided it was time for summer

now that i am back...im glad that it is summer...i love heat

a reflection on last week:
well, here i am confronted with the glorious joy of family...i never thought id be meeting my second family as a 19 yr old...but love loves to shatter expectations and thoughts on the future...i am in constant shock of how life changes so fast...one year im graduating high school...the next im conversing on weddings with the parents...
its funny and ironic...gloriful no doubt...but in all truth i must settle down with my thoughts and have some self-de-briefing...you know...when so many things happen...you just need time to pray and think...
so instead of unloading my mind for you all im going to go stow-away in my room and enjoy the peace of my bed, my light, my books...of course sleep is not far away...

i experienced the most love ive ever experienced over the past week...especially the past 24 hours...
church this morning was the best service ive ever been to...God was there...it was amazing how so many people can gather together in His name to grow, pray, enjoy one-another, worship...all these things ive always wanted to see come together in a c hurch service...where young and old would become one in humility and truth...

His Kingdom is stronger because of WCC...and all that happened this morning.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Wed, 17 May 2006 00:53:25 GMT

i feel good all over

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Sun, 07 May 2006 21:05:19 GMT

I'm home...its frizzeakin sweet!

i love home!

frou frou rocks my socks...
So, let go,let go
Jump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So, let go, l-let go
Just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown

Anberlin

Mon, 24 Apr 2006 04:20:49 GMT

sometimes i feel like this...

that if i died today, this is what theyd say...
"the greatest tragedy is not your death, but your life has no reason: your life has no purpose."

...thank you

home, mates...

Sat, 22 Apr 2006 14:35:49 GMT

im home for the weekend...and its wonderful

im glad to be back in the blogging world, but for the next while, ive got much more important things to be about...school is kicking my butt...and will for the next 2 weeks...so unless i have a free moment (or choose to prograstinate)...dont expect much from me for a while...

mates of state rocks my face off!

verse of the day (from my Bible...not a standard translation...which happens to not have verses marked in): The Letter to Colossae 3: somewhere towards the end of this chapter...
"Whatever you do, put your heart and soul into it, as into work done for the Lord, and not merely for men--knowing that your real reward, a heavenly one, will come from the Lord, since you are actually employed by the Lord Christ, and not just by your earthly master."

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Thu, 20 Apr 2006 16:50:44 GMT

tales of presence
...my new blog at blogspot

Shawn McDonald and the Georges

Thu, 20 Apr 2006 15:55:13 GMT

purpose, perseverance, passion

iTunes update: 4570 items, 15.3 days, 19.28 GB

right now there are two things I want to say:
i have been challenged today by Christ's passion for me, for us...and i am asked of my own passion for Him...my life is dominated by other passions...i am asked to have no passion greater than that of His Kingdom, His Life, His Love...

the Georges make me smile...thanks for the introduction to Shawn McDonald...right now he is my choice of the many recent iTunes additions...

passion, power, prayer

from rambling to my heart...eggs, bacon, and french toast

Tue, 18 Apr 2006 17:14:48 GMT

breakfast is the best way to start the day...

...here at SWU it is by far the best meal served at our caf....

so today i was able to visit the "hole" after my 8 and read a long while (untill my 11:45)...
the bees and flies today were extremely busy...it was cool to watch them fly around...and though their buzzing got a bit on my nerves...i enjoyed their company...

I got to hear Christy play piano last night and today in class...it was marvelous...i love her

right now im enjoying not having much going on...doing whatever is pretty sweet...i was thinking about a nap earlier...and still am...but for now this is distracting me...i dont like to sleep...which is wierd...but seriously...i like being distracted...so for the next few hrs while im thinking of napping, im sure a book or something else will do enough to keep my eyes open...unless i decide to get in my bed...because that always causes me to fall asleep...

simplicity

i have often been confused and entertained by the vocabulary of a higher education...that is the complex theories, concepts, and ideas of philosophers and theologians...today i think much of that was (and still is...as i continue to entertain myself in different "deep" books) a distraction from what has value...

i am currently reading a book that argues in simple form...
it begs that what i believe be founded in simply who i am...
who i am as defined by Christ...
who i am in Christ...

value, honor, respect

women are beautiful...
no man will ever argue...
now im hearing voices...
"quiet...you don't know"
beauty.
the form of the body...
the image of the soul...
the glory of creation...
who we are on the inside...
perfect.
i had a train of thought...
a line of wonders, enternally...
captured by something...
a longing for us to be...
one.
there's a body filled with wonder...
there's a soul filled with joy...
there's a creation out there longing...
something more, we are...
more.

distracted

i hate sneezing fits...they pull me away from what im doing...i always have to go to the bathroom and wash my face and wash out my nose...and that sucks when im writing...i love writing...now i dont know where i am and i think that nap is calling for me...

may His grace and love move us to love and show grace